Echte Mannen – Real Men don’t do porn

Our Belgium Kwasizabantu brethren have been running the programme, “Echte Mannen” (under the auspices of CFT) with great effect. Their message is simple and clear: real men don’t do porn. They have been contacted by many young and old men (many Christians too) who are in despair about their addiction to porn – mostly Internet porn.

Let’s have another look at this ever increasing problem. Years ago we wrote the pamphlet called “Caught in the Net” (to have a look this is the link: http://www.ksb.org.za/articles/caught_in_the_net.htm. Technology has advanced dramatically since that article was written. What was just a phone has become a computer with every device centralized on this little thing which can fit into your pocket. Let’s have a close look at how porn is just a few inches from your eyes, most of the time.

Cellphones (or “mobiles or handys” as Americans and Europeans call them) now connect you to porn

Whether you like it or not, all modern cellphones (unless you can manage to find an old fashioned, as in 2 years old) types, have the capability to connect you directly to the Internet. How has this happened? The merging of technology, because of popular demand, has forced manufacturers to add all the “bells and whistles” to every new cellphone. A fancy camera which is 5 megapixels (and that increases every year) can take photos and videos; a miniSD card (or whatever type it may be with lots of memory) can store huge amounts of MP3 music, photos and videos; direct connection to the “net”; a GPS for directions; an FM and AM radio; an alarm clock, Bluetooth to chat or flirt with someone close by; and much more. This means that people need just one device to carry around which is small and convenient enough to put on your belt or in your handbag, or simply carry in your hand to show off – like the billboards showing pretty girls photographing themselves (the ultimate vanity).

The producers of cellphones have successfully merged all these technologies into a single device because that is what people want - convenience. Apple’s iphone has been a stunning success. Take note that it is one big screen and that has set the trend. Cellphone sceens are getting bigger and bigger and that is on purpose. Teens can watch videos on a screen that is not the tiny screen of the prehistoric days (about 2 to 3 years ago) and they can also go to porn sites. Parents take note of this. Virtually all new cellphones have this ability. Youngsters can afford it because cellphone companies pour millions of rands into marketing the latest brands and for just a small amount a month they get a free phone which can do, well, everything.

Parents and older people struggle with understanding these devices. For instance, I still struggle to do an SMS because the gadget keeps on telling me what it thinks I mean and I have to reprimand it and correct it again and again. But children and teens have an inbuilt ability to know all the functions of the mobile within minutes. This inbuilt ability can be used for good and evil. The same goes for adults who are more tech savvy and know how to get onto the Net with their cellphones. Don’t read the following sentence if you’re under 18. The sites they access include: sex with animals, homosexual sex (sometimes called Shemale or Tranny), close-up pics of genitals, all manner of perverted sex, etc, etc. Now, parents and adults, you can be sure that the previous sentence was read by under 18 children. If some upright children didn’t read it, good for them, but most will be sorely tempted to click on “I declare that I am 18 or over” to get access to every type of filth possible.

And, just a quick word about girls and women – they are not exempt from sexual temptation on the Internet except theirs is of a different kind. They are more likely to end up in a “chat room” and have a fantasy relationship with a number of people. They might never really know who the person on the other side really is, because they give themselves a Cyber name. So a girl chatting to a cyber friend who claims to be “Jenny” in a chat room who says she is 14 and loves hockey and swimming may actually be a 47 year old man who is married with 3 adult children and chats to Jenny secretly, without the knowledge of his wife. In another instance, a 65 year old married man may not know that the “Suzie” on the Net, who claims to be 27 and is looking for a “deeper relationship” because she doesn’t get it from her husband, is actually Bethany who is married for 55 years and is looking for some excitement in her life.

What can be done?

In the `olden days’, round about 2006, you could put a filter on the computer, check it’s history, and have accountability programs to protect children or yourself from unwanted images. Things have changed dramatically and we in the middle of a trend towards more of what I’ve written above. Some companies like Vodacom have a number (*111*123#) which you can dial and, from then on, all porn images, will be blocked (well, not all, because pornsters (pimps, actually) are always on the cutting edge of technology and develop new ways for their “merchandise” to be found.) Most companies don’t have these “blockers” and computer savvy people can always find a way around a filter.

Isn’t it time to make a pledge before God and man?

Our Christian brethren in France recently had a CFT meeting and did just this. Perhaps this was a revelation from God which needs to infiltrate Christians internationally. Just as the organization, True Love Waits calls upon teens to make a pledge of abstinence till marriage how about a true pledge not to look at any porn, of any type, on cellphones, TV or any other means? A deliberate vow before God (and before man, if necessary – especially if you’re an addict) like Job (“I made a vow not to look upon a maid/girl) and keeping in mind what Jesus said: “if any man looks lustfully upon a woman he has already committed adultery”).

More practical action

Besides the suggestions above there might be other means to sustain your vow. If you have been an addict you will need an “accountability partner” or “counselor”, a person in whom you can confide on a regular basis. Addiction often runs so deep that vows are not enough and it needs regular prayer with your accountability partner. This would imply prayer of thanks for victory and not just prayer for failures. You should expect victory and never accept defeat. Christ came to “set the captive free”.
Rather seek what is good on the Web.  Philippians 4:8 tells us that “Whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable – think about such things.” One way could be to look up the daily devotions of Spurgeon and Meyer which are blessing to God’s children around the world. Then, there are fantastic sites which study God’s Word. There are MP3 sermons like on this site and on the Kwasizabantu site there are hundreds of sermons to download at broadband speed.

Finally, if the Bible says “whether you eat or drink do, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God” (1Cor 10:31) then surely we can pray before we use the cellphone or computer and use it “to the glory of God”.

 K. Olsen (with grateful assistance from M. Muller and others)