On the passing of Kay Stegen

Message of condolences by
Mangosuthu Buthelezi, MP
Minister of Home Affairs and
President, Inkatha Freedom Party

Kwasizabantu Mission: December, 2002

It is with deep sadness that I offer my condolences to the Reverend Erlo Stegen and his daughters on the passing of our beloved friend, Kay. Words cannot express how I feel at this moment. It is almost as if a silence has been drawn across my heart, for I know that Kay is in the hands of her Creator, yet I cannot help but think of it as a loss to all of us. In this time, I can only thank God that we share the same Father and the same faith, which gives us the assurance of seeing Kay again. When that day comes I know that she will tell us of the peace and the strength she received, even throughout these past few years of her illness. This is the same strength which we, who are left behind, must draw upon as we mourn the loss of Aunty Kay.

When I think of the marriage of my good friends, the Reverend Erlo and Kay Stegen, I am reminded of the scripture that says "He who finds a wife, finds a good thing". All those who knew her will concede that Kay was no ordinary woman. Indeed, she had the good qualities of a wife and she supported her husband and strengthened his ministry, while effectively serving God in her own capacity as well. Indeed, the ministry of Rev. Stegen and his wife developed over thirty years of marriage, nurturing the growth of KwaSizabantu Mission into a place where people could truly be helped. Together, this couple evangelised people throughout the world, fulfilling the destiny and calling which was placed on their lives.

In this hour of sadness, I wish to encourage my brother to hold fast to the promise of our Lord that He knew us and prepared good works for us to walk in before the foundations of the world. I do not believe the ministry of Rev. Stegen is completed. A new season is opening and I exhort my brother to lean on the Lord and seek His wisdom for the coming time. I know through my own personal experience that the words of Christ as He gave the Beatitudes are true: "Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted." The comfort we receive in times such as this is beyond our understanding. Nevertheless, I wish to offer my own support as well, so that my brother will know that we stand with him in this hour to lend our prayers and our compassion to ease the journey of grief.

Kay Stegen was known affectionately by people at the KwaSizabantu Mission as Aunty Kay, because the natural love that poured from her spirit seemed to soften every hardened heart, and people recognised in her an unusually strong nurturing capacity. Throughout her lifetime, she did a world of good, often making the greatest impact by her example alone. She was a tower of strength to Reverend Stegen, supporting him no matter where his ministry called him to be, and no matter what the circumstances. As Christians we have received fair warning that those who lead a godly life will be persecuted, and we are exhorted to remain strong in trials. As a leader in ministry and evangelism, Reverend Stegen constantly worked under the covering of prayer from his wife. I am reminded that the full armour of God, spoken of by the Apostle Paul in his letter to the Church in Ephesus, does not give any covering for our backs. I believe that we need the covering of our fellow Christians to ‘watch our backs’. In this sense, Kay was an invaluable asset to her husband’s ministry.

Moments such as these give us cause to look back on the memories we carry from many years past. I wish to remind my brother, the Rev. Erlo Stegen, of his experiences as he began to walk the road which God had called him to. I know that he has spoken of trials and difficulties experienced during that early time when it seemed that what he was doing among the Zulu people did not conform to the biblical pattern of the rewards of evangelism. However, he persevered, for I believe my friend knows that we are but labourers in the field which God has planted and which God will harvest. When the time came, Rev. Stegen’s ministry began to yield a tremendous harvest and saw people whom one would least expect to reach, being inexorably drawn to God. I believe that God honoured Rev. Stegen’s perseverance and faith.

Perhaps in this silent moment, as we contemplate the loss of one so dear, we may consider the span of life that each of us has been given. Among the many tributes we may pay to Aunty Kay Stegen, surely the most comforting is that she lived all her years with the joy of knowing she was planted firmly within the will and purposes of God. As I go about my work in politics and leadership, I often pray that I will not step out from under His will. He has placed my where I am, and He sustains me in it. To me, the greatest sorrow is not the limited time I have to myself, which is the sacrifice of serving. It is not the insincerity which scuttles in the shadow of power. It is not the gravity of the decisions I at times must take. It is not even the loss of friends as I grow older. To me, the greatest sorrow is feeling that one has not lived according to the fruitful and good purposes of God.

Kay Stegen passed away with such great peacefulness and with such an air of blessing, that we can be in no doubt that she was ill-acquainted with this greatest sorrow. Kay lived a life pleasing to God and today many of us share the benefits of that blessing. Her life impacted many lives. Her strength was the strength of a warrior. As a leader among the Zulu people, I wish to thank Kay Stegen for the commitment she made to our people. I thank her for covering my friend, Erlo Stegen, in prayer. I thank her for being a light which shall never dim, because the legacy she leaves will live on in every life she altered and every person she helped.